Just blowing through...

Never have I had such a hard time with words--never have I wrangled with words as I have in this--never has it been this difficult and painful to realize that genuine, original thought is becoming harder to grasp.  I cannot find the will to go beyond my own cheaply constructed veneer and reach that beating mass of vulnerability anymore. It is better to live as unfeelingly as possible, the prospect of confronting my self is becoming more and more unbearable and foolish. At 33, I am more lost and uncertain of myself than in any given time in my entire life. Even 8 year old ESL me had more gumption and self-confidence, as bullied as she was for being a smelly, big-eyed brown girl. (Ah, Peter, you red-headed freckled toad. I wonder where you are now...).

Well, now since that's out of the way... I should get to sweeping away the dust that has accumulated in this waterless and parched corner of the inter-webs. The more daunting task, however, remains to be cleaning up the cobwebs that have taken residence in the poor abandoned structure which houses that thing we call Life.